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Hey, guys! Thanks for stoppin’ by. Great to see you—been a while. What I don’t understand is why you seem either pissed off or choked up every time you come around. It’s Cinco de Mayo, man! Party time!
You’re not still mad about last Cinco de Mayo, are ya? All ‘cause we almost got in a fight and I tore out for another party? It didn’t mean nothin’. I was drunk.
Five years? No way. Couldn’t be that long. Whatever. Not gonna argue about it. Kinda lose track of things around here, ‘specially time. Can’t remember when I last went to work. That’s not a bad thing, right? The best part is being able to snowboard anytime I want. Bet you can’t say that. Too much work and not enough play, am I right, gentlemen? Seems like every time I see you guys, you get slower and fatter. Ha! Never thought I’d see the day when I was more agile than you, Mike. I can throw a baseball like I’m throwin’ fire. And hit it over the fence every time, just like I did at Doubleday, remember? And Andy—not so fast anymore, are you? Yep, that was me smokin’ past you—the wind you felt when nothin’ was there. That’s what happens when you get older. So I hear. Couldn’t prove it by me.
What’s that? Sure, I wish you’d hang out more, but don’t worry. Sometimes, I hitch a ride when you’re not looking. The other amazing thing about this place is I always got company. I see tons of people I haven’t seen in a while. Told my mom I ended up here ‘cause I heard her calling, but she swears she didn’t. No matter. Guess I was just missing her. Know who else showed up one day? Your dad. Yeah, fer real. Used to be kinda scared of him, but he’s okay. Got some awesome stories, man. Says he’s surprised he didn’t end up like me. Whatever that means. Misses you two, but hopes he don’t see you for a good long time. Go figure. My old man never wanted to be with me at all, so at least yours was there to watch you grow up. Course, Zack’s here, too. Glad for his company, even though he complains a lot. Wasn’t ready, he says. Still, he’s not bitter or nothin’. If I’m ever feeling blue, he makes a joke then laughs harder than me. What a laugh he’s got. Can’t stay depressed with him around. Do we ever rip it up!
My gramma’s here, now. Got tired of listening for me to come home, she claims, even though I visited her a lot.
But hey, you came for the party, right? Don’t want to bring ya down. Who’s got the basketball? Wanna show ya a few new moves this guy taught me. I’ll take it easy on you, ya old duffers! Watch me dance down the court. I am forever nimble! Forever twenty-three.