My Dearest Alexandria
By Sally Madison
My Darling Alexandria,
With all my heart, I wish I could be with you this moment and every moment I take breath.
I lay my head at night, I feel your soft hair resting on my arm. I see your long lashes flutter as you smile at me. I smell your sweet breath as I try to kiss you, and then I turn away with anguish for your absence.
When you smile at a beauty flower, know that is how I look at you. When you take a sip, I am jealous that a cup is touching your lips. When you see the luminous embers glowing in the fireplace, think of our evenings together. When you feel a breeze, feel my arms surrounding you. When the sun shines on you, feel the warmth of my chest against yours. When it rains, know that this is how many tears I have for missing you.
Last night, I dreamed that our first child should be named Elizabeth and I knew that I needed to make a decision because my feelings were no longer in my control. At the council meeting, I mentioned my hopes to divorce my wife and make you my czarina. Half of the members felt that the people would revolt, just as, in England, when King Henry VIII had to create a separate religion. The other half of my council objected silently to a non-Russian czarina. Sending daggers with their eyes, I felt they were thinking of Socrates’ fateful demise. No matter what my choice, it will be a disaster for my country, but also a death sentence for me to pursue my hearts desire.
Please let me hear how happy you are, and that will bring peace to me. Be strong my darling, for my sake. For I waiver with such intense desire, that I redirect the misguided passion I have for you into meeting the needs of my country.
Although the black pearls I gave were a symbol of our relationship, I am sending you a gift which embodies my love. If you hear a kitten purr, know that is how my heart feels when I am with you. I can only hope that you will be holding me, when you have your arms wrapped around something soft and warm.
My memories, and knowing I will be see you in the afterlife, are my conciliation. With all my love, Peter.
Many hours of tears and sobs were expended while Alexandria ignored the parcel, until it began to wiggle. With trepidation, she opened the parcel to find a pair of Russian Royal Archangel Blue kittens from the city of Kazan. Pulling the kittens to her bosom, she cried all the more intently.