Word Count: 500
It’s a Man’s World
By Peg Scarano
Over the last few weeks I have had several conversations with God. I don’t turn to him very often, but when I do, it is for good reason. I feel our relationship has become such that I can share some of my innermost thoughts with Him and he will not throw down a lightning bolt to strike me dead.
I made God put in some overtime while my daughter was in labor. My grandson caught us by surprise when he decided to make his grand entrance 10 days early. But once he made this decision, he took his sweet time actually making it happen (just like a man) and made his mom labor for nearly two days. Since I was over 200 miles away and had a lot to do before I could leave home for the 10 weeks I planned to be away, I spent a lot of time in conversation with God.
When we finally arrived at the hospital in New Jersey, I heard the real story of Henry Stone’s birth. Being the mom of three children who were all born naturally with no drugs, I totally empathized with my daughter’s anguish. Unlike most women these days, she chose natural childbirth as opposed to using an epidural. If she and her husband should choose to have more children, I’m not sure she will opt out of an epidural again.
Jenny’s account of Henry’s birth brought back my own memories of childbirth and compelled me to have another conversation with God. First I complimented Him on all of the incredible things he created in this world. The seas and skies, the flora and fauna, the sun and moon, day and night – the list went on and on. And then I got to my point.
“Dear God, I humbly want to suggest that perhaps You should have put more thought into the process of procreation. Let me start out with another positive – the mating of a sperm with an egg was absolutely brilliant and the formula used to allow that egg and sperm to develop into arms and legs, bones and skin, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, brain tissue, blood and all kinds of working anatomical systems in a mere nine months was nothing short of technological genius.
“However, I have to say, I think perhaps You should have put more thought into the total process. For instance, why does the male simply deposit the sperm while the female suffers through nine months of mood swings, vomiting, weight gain and then culminate the miracle by having to push a 6 to 10 pound creature through a tunnel the size of the top of a wine bottle in order to enter Your magnificent world? I believe Your vision may have been a bit flawed. Perchance, You overrated the power of a woman or maybe You were still punishing poor Eve? Whatever Your plan, You have proven to me that You are most definitely a man!”
I’m awaiting the lightning strike.