Word Count 493
By Nan Ressue
“STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW, DAMN IT,” I yelled in my most intimidating voice. “How do you think I am going to sleep if you keep running up and down the stairs?”, addressing my question to thin air with a scowl on my face and a bad attitude. There was only one answer to the question posed; it was a WHAM as the door at the bottom of the stairs slammed shut.
You have probably guessed that a phantom has moved in with me for reasons unknown and the footsteps are only a part of it.
I got up in the morning with bags under my eyes and stumbled down the back stairs in order to bypass the spooked staircase. And whadda ya know… stretched out in the kitchen rocking chair was the source of my sleepless nights…There was Dad, grinning from ear to ear, just dropping by for a little chat.
“Dad! What are you doing here?”
Much to my astonishment, he looked really great; healthy, muscular, well dressed (at least for him) and he had all his hair, pretty good for somebody who had been dead for a year.
“I’m here to offer you a deal Son that I think you’ll like. I want you to learn a few ghost skills now so when it’s your turn to pass over, you’ll have a head start. “
“Ghost skills?” I asked intrigued. “What do you have in mind? Can we get started right away?”
“Whoa there! One at a time! These are worth practicing as they are useful in many situations. Are you willing? “
“Let ‘er rip, Dad”
“Let’s try levitation first. You need to get your body positioned correctly as the first step. Stand up, feet about a foot apart, relax your shoulders, arms held loosely at your sides. Try to get one or two inches off the floor. Relax …think of yourself rising up gently, gently… Well, no luck on that one. We can practice later.”
“Have you heard of teleportation? I used that one to get to your house. I want you to imagine yourself upstairs in bed. Breathe deeply, another deep breath, one more. Keep your bed in mind. Concentrate, concentrate. OK… You’re still here .That one is hard.”
Now the last one is a phantom’s signature move; passing through a wall. Get ready Son. You need to run as fast as you can at that bare wall in front of you and you’ll pass through into the dining room, smooth as a greased pig. You are really going to need to SPRINT. Get ready! On your mark, get set, GO!
I realized that it didn’t work that time either as I lay bloodied and battered on the kitchen floor. My father was bending over me, his face covered with a look of sweet success.
“Son, you never should have blown all the insurance money at the casino…”