Word Count 496
Time Marches On
By Nan Ressue
Warm breezes stirred the leaves on the knurled trees lining the well-worn lane that led down the slope to the ancient house. Two old friends who never tired of each other’s company were sharing the porch that lovely morning, commenting on each other’s theories and opinions.
“You watch yourself in that rocking chair Ralph. You know how they tend to creep when you get up a head of steam. You’ll tip over the edge of the porch if you don’t keep your eye on it”
“O.K., O.K.” he countered with a smile at his friend’s concern. “Fred, you know that rocking chairs were invented for nervous people who need to rest.”
“Ha! Good one!’’ replied Fred.” You know, some days I feel my age and some days not. I was thinking there should be a measuring tool for the elderly like the ones they use for the kids-you know what I mean-the height measurements marked on the door jamb with the date as they get taller? Only we need one that starts high and goes down to the future.”
“That sounds like as good a way to waste time as anything else you’ve thought up,” chuckled his friend.
Let’s start with our best up there about eight feet. How about “Scholar-Athlete? Man, that’s when we were really in the zone”
“Great start”, encouraged Ralphie. I’ve got the next one! Bridegroom_- Father. That was a combination of pleasure and pain. Wouldn’t have given it up for anything.”
“OK, here’s where we start hitting the skids. You know how the brides love to show off their cooking skills. Well, if you have a chef in the house you need some eaters and so I obliged. The polite title would be “Newlywed Weight Gain.” Let’s be blunt and call it Gut Development.”
“My turn, laughed Ralph….extra weight…falling arches…You know Dr. Scholl’s is just around the corner.
He’s my Man.”
“What do you think should be next? We’re about half way down to the floor.”
Well, I knew that bifocals were looming on the horizon when I took my girl out for dinner and couldn’t read the menu. Let me tell you that was humiliating. The good part was that it gave her a chance to show off her French. That was a slippery way out but she knew what was going on.”
“Fred, the next one has got to be the unforgettable telephone call from the dentist. “Mr. Sloan, your dentures are ready for pick-up”
“My sympathy Kid. But they still are looking good”
“Well, we’re nearly down to the floor with the cane and rocking chair left to go. Rock bottom will be the kicking and screaming when they come for our driver’s license.”
“You know we always had things ass backwards so the only thing to do is about face and head for the top. “ Senior athletes are the new normal so ..Iron Man move over…We’re on our way up!”