SARDONIC: Candy Cane By Nan Ressue

Word Count 282

Candy Cane
By Nan Ressue
Women have always been aware of the power of accessories when assembling their wardrobe; a long dangling necklace to emphasize the vertical body line, an ornate belt to better define a slender waist, or colorful shoes to complete the head to toe color scheme.
My newest accessory is my cane, now pressed into service as a stabilizer but secretly used as a fashion statement and a personal power stick… It is decorated top to bottom with ultra-feminine flowers and butterflies, has a curving handle to suggest female anatomy, and a padded handle to caress the user’s palm. The masculine side which is present in the steel pronged tip clamped to the lowest end which digs into icy surfaces, supplying welcome stability.
Personal uses of this lovely accessory include the ability to point out situations which might escape a companion’s attention, indicating desired but out of reach items, propping open screen doors for easy exit, nudging objects off high shelves into your waiting arms, and dragging dropped papers close enough for retrieval.
Public benefits for cane users include having complete strangers hold the door open, unsolicited offers of assistance in airports, grocery stores and parking garages,, stopping traffic on Main Street to allow safe crossing, unquestioned access to the front of most lines, and welcomed use of handicapped spaces. Younger people without canes are now willing to bring in your garbage can.
Do not flinch at the aspect of cane usage. Choose the most colorful, flamboyant specimen you can find, flaunt it proudly, use all of its accompanying benefits and enjoy your new status…
A nd so endeth this sardonic tale….

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