PARODY: The Big Break: A Parody by G. Ackman

Word Count 475
The Big Break: A Parody
by G. Ackman

“What makes you think you’re the right person for this job?” the man in the perfectly tailored suit asked Edwin Rey, who swallowed against the nausea in his stomach and wiped his sweating hands as discretely as he could on his pants.

“I am the biggest fan of his work, my writing has been published in several magazines and short story collections. I – I know I haven’t done a screenplay yet, but I have written a theatre script which was performed off-Broadway last year.”

“You do realize that this is not a Stephen King work – it is meant to be a parody of his works. You are comfortable with that, are you not?

“Yes, I know I can deliver what you want – and deliver it on schedule.”

The man behind the desk hesitated, shuffled papers, made a few notes. It was probably only about three or four minutes, but to Edwin, it was an eternity. He fought against his stomach again and won – barely.

“Okay, Mr. Rey – you have your chance. But – and I will reiterate this – But – only one chance. If you do not have a completed screenplay to our specifications within ten days, you are out.”

As Edwin Rey left the office, the man in the tailored suit smiled a sinister smile. The side door opened and his assistant walked in. “Do we have him?” “Yes, indeed. Ten days.”

Ten days later, a slightly less nervous Edwin Rey arrived at the office of Castle Rock Films, bound screenplay in his hands and a lightness to his step. He just knew this was going to be his big break. He climbed the stairs easily and confidently, opened the door to the office and gave his name to the receptionist, who smiled at him sweetly and asked him to wait a moment.

“He will see you now” she said silkily as she opened the door to the inner office. The chair was turned to face away from the door. As the receptionist shut the door behind Edwin, the chair slowly turned. It wasn’t the man in the tailored suit. It wasn’t a man at all. The – the – thing (alien went through Edwin’s mind as he struggled to reconcile what he saw with what his mind could process) stood up and approached. One long gray tentacle extended toward Edwin as all the carefully written words fell to the ground in a blizzard of white paper, forgotten now as Edwin knew, in that instant, that his life was over. He could not even manage a scream.

The next day, a nervous young woman approached the office, anxious for her interview. She loved Stephen King books and was excited that this film company needed a screenwriter for an upcoming movie. This would be her big break, she just knew it – an experience that would change her life.

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