Week 6 Word: AVERSION
Word Count 500+
ONE SUMMER EVENING
“Good morning! Acme Real Estate. Can I help you?”
“I certainly hope you can,” said a young voice. Our family is losing our house through a medical bankruptcy and we are desperate to find a cheaper place.” After an intense round of telephone calls, I located a possibility.
“Let’s go check it out’, I suggested. “You never know when the right place will turn up.”
The listing agent met us at the door. “There are a few things I have to explain, “she said. “This place is owned by the father who lives downstairs alone and is a wheelchair bound double amputee The 25 year old son lived on the second floor with a crippling heart disease and has died. Now the father can sell the building and move to assisted living You are welcome to come in but brace yourself.”
Our first experience inside was far worse than an aversion . It was an assault on all our senses. Mountains of refuse, tin cans and newspapers were strewn everywhere. Odors of decayed food, soiled clothing, and vomit mingled and lingered in the corners. Dirty dishes and a used bedpan peeked out from under the couch. Upstairs, it was the same scenario but with lifestyle choices evident: one room used for photography, another for model railroading, a third with a empty cages and terrariums for birds, snakes, or maybe a turtle, all empty by the time we got there.. Porno magazines were a highlight.
After much deliberation, the young family said yes to the house but insisted that the house be emptied of trash. After a tense conversation , the owner made his only offer. If the buyers and the real estate agents would do the cleanup, he would buy the civic garbage bags which the town required if trash was set out for pick-up. Was there a choice?
Workday turned out to be a 90 degree August Thursday. With sweat pouring off our foreheads, we attacked piles of indescribables , up and down stairs, in and outdoors, back and forth. By the time we were finished, there were 13 bags sitting on the curb and I could hardly drag myself back to the car to drive home..
I thought I was finished until one evening the phone rang unexpectedly.“Hello! , Hello!”shrilled this hysterical voice. Do you remember me? We bought the junky house near the woods ,” she said
“Yes, I said. “ I sure do. What’s happening?”, I asked with my fingers crossed “Well, I could hardly believe it but when I opened my kitchen cupboard to put the groceries away, a three foot long snake fell out and landed on my feet. What should I do?
“Hang up and I’ll call the firemen,” I tried to say calmly
“Oh, Ok. No wait. My husband threw a blanket over it AND IS KILLING IT WITH A HAMMER!” EEUUUW!
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY NOW? HERE ARE THREE SUGGESTIONS:
Good for you”!
“The humane society isn’t going to like this”
“I hear they taste like chicken”
I know that you’ve figured out that the snake had escaped the terrarium and was living in the woods back of the house where there were many delicious mice
Now don’t forget; Next time you buy a house, be sure to check the cupboards for snakes. You never know